A Simple Guide to Better Communicate With Your Teen
It really shouldn’t be that complicated and yet it is. Communicating with your teen is one the most difficult thing you have to do these days.
Teenagehood is a very complicated time for our young ones. They are being told they are now adults and have to behave accordingly. But at the same time, they are still dependant of their family and treated like children.
Having the simplest conversation with them can lead to open-fire conflict without any party knowing where it all came from.
But don’t despair, in this article I’m listing a few things you can do to help ease things at home and have a better communication with your teen.
Focus on Who They Are on the Inside.
Too often we tend to compliment our young ones based on their physical appearance. It can help them feel better about themselves but can also lead to them focusing too much on the outside. The way for them to value what is inside as much as what is outside is by being on the receiving hand of not only praise about their looks but about their mind. Remember children learn by example.
Take a minute and think about the kind of compliment you pay your child. Be very honest now and note down the kind of words you use when trying to make them feel better.
Identify What Makes Them Great
We tend to focus on what our teens are bad at or doing wrong. This leads to them having this false bad image of themselves. They think they are not good and their motivation level follows.
Let’s try to reverse that.
What is your teen really good at? What challenge did they overcome? What achievement can they be proud of?
The best way to show your teen you see what they do right and are proud of them is to remind them so.
Spend some time with them once a week to review their strength, goal reached and achievement.
This will help them realise how highly you think of them for good reasons.
Educate Them About the Weight of their Words
Words have a meaning and an impact. The words you use can really affect the people around you. By stating rules around the vocabulary used in the house and to speak about others, you’ll be teaching your young one the importance of their words.
The important point here is the negative words. Watch the negativity in the way they speak. Make it a rule to turn negative talk into something more positive instead.
For every negative sentence try and find 3 positive you can replace it with.
Have Them Identify Their Role in the Family
You and your partner have specific roles in the family. They are set and clear to everybody. You’re working and providing for the family. You’re taking care of feeding the family by doing the groceries and cooking for everybody. You’re keeping the house safe and healthy by making sure the house and locked and safe as well as clean and tidy. You may have even more roles than that depending on how each household works and your own personality. You may also be the secret-keeper, the entertainer or the jail-keeper.
What is your teen role in this family? Does he even have a role? What does his role involve?
Value Their Opinion
Ask your teen their opinion when needed and more importantly follow it. If you have important work coming up in the house, it would be a good idea to involve your teen in the decision-making process by asking them what idea they can come up with. It of course has to be reasonable and reasoned.
Feeling valued in the family will not only help your teen to feel closer to you but also to have better self-confidence. The value that comes from your parents is the strongest one they can receive. They would not admit that to you in those terms of course. But your opinion is the most important to them.
Teach Them the Worth of Working for Something
Important things don’t come easy and for free in this world. It’s a reality your teen needs to be aware of as soon as possible. When you want something, usually you’re going to have to work for it.
There is a point in their life when they have to learn that to get something you have to give something. They can give time or help depending of the situation. Cleaning up after themselves after dinner, helping with the dishes, the laundry or other household chores can be a good way to teach a teen how to value the effort.
By making the effort to help around the house and or even taking on a small job, he’ll learn from a young age ow important it is to earn your own money based on your work.
I hope this article helped you and gave you some ideas on how to make things work better between you and your teen.
If you wish to have a chat with me about your teen you can book a free consultation here.