It really shouldn’t be that
complicated and yet it is. Communicating with your teen is one the most
difficult thing you have to do these days.
Teenagehood is a very complicated time for our young ones.
They are being told they are now adults and have to behave accordingly. But at
the same time, they are still dependant of their family and treated like
Having the simplest conversation with them can lead to
open-fire conflict without any party knowing where it all came from.
But don’t despair, in this article I’m listing a few things
you can do to help ease things at home and have a better communication with
Focus on Who They Are on the Inside.
Too often we tend
to compliment our young ones based on their physical appearance. It can help
them feel better about themselves but can also lead to them focusing too much
on the outside. The way for them to value what is inside as much as what is
outside is by being on the receiving hand of not only praise about their looks
but about their mind. Remember children learn by example.
Take a minute and
think about the kind of compliment you pay your child. Be very honest now and
note down the kind of words you use when trying to make them feel better.
Identify What Makes Them Great
We tend to focus on what our teens are bad at or doing
wrong. This leads to them having this false bad image of themselves. They think
they are not good and their motivation level follows.
Let’s try to reverse that.
What is your teen really good at? What challenge did they
overcome? What achievement can they be proud of?
The best way to show your teen you see what they do right
and are proud of them is to remind them so.
Spend some time with them once a week to review their
strength, goal reached and achievement.
This will help them realise how highly you think of them for
Educate Them About the Weight of their Words
Words have a meaning and an impact. The words you use can
really affect the people around you. By stating rules around the vocabulary
used in the house and to speak about others, you’ll be teaching your young one
the importance of their words.
The important point here is the negative words. Watch the
negativity in the way they speak. Make it a rule to turn negative talk into
something more positive instead.
For every negative sentence try and find 3 positive you can
replace it with.
Have Them Identify Their Role in the Family
You and your partner have specific roles in the family. They
are set and clear to everybody. You’re working and providing for the family.
You’re taking care of feeding the family by doing the groceries and cooking for
everybody. You’re keeping the house safe and healthy by making sure the house
and locked and safe as well as clean and tidy. You may have even more roles
than that depending on how each household works and your own personality. You
may also be the secret-keeper, the entertainer or the jail-keeper.
What is your teen role in this family? Does he even have a
role? What does his role involve?
Value Their Opinion
Ask your teen their opinion when needed and more importantly
follow it. If you have important work coming up in the house, it would be a
good idea to involve your teen in the decision-making process by asking them
what idea they can come up with. It of course has to be reasonable and
Feeling valued in the family will not only help your teen to
feel closer to you but also to have better self-confidence. The value that
comes from your parents is the strongest one they can receive. They would not
admit that to you in those terms of course. But your opinion is the most
important to them.
Teach Them the Worth of Working for Something
Important things don’t come easy and for free in this world.
It’s a reality your teen needs to be aware of as soon as possible. When you
want something, usually you’re going to have to work for it.
There is a point in their life when they have to learn that
to get something you have to give something. They can give time or help
depending of the situation. Cleaning up after themselves after dinner, helping
with the dishes, the laundry or other household chores can be a good way to
teach a teen how to value the effort.
By making the effort to help around the house and or even
taking on a small job, he’ll learn from a young age ow important it is to earn
your own money based on your work.
I hope this article helped you and gave you some ideas on
how to make things work better between you and your teen.