Self-confidence is defined as: “a combination of state of mind that allows you to live our life to the fullest.”
Ok but what does a confident person look like? Do you know any confident person? How would you describe them?
It’s not the one that boast every morning at coffee break about all the great things they’ve done and the famous people they know. This describe someone who is the opposite of confident and rely on false prestige to get by.
A person that has reached a good level of self-confidence oozes it. No bragging or boasting but natural charisma. People are attracted to them and the energy that is coming from them.
How can you identify as this confident person?
You have identified your skills and talents
Confident people don’t doubt their ability to accomplish a given task. This comes from the fact they know well what they are capable of doing. They know they have the right combination of knowledge, skills and talents required to succeed.
When you are clear about yourself and your capacities, you have no reasons to doubt your success.
For example, in a professional situation, you have been hired because you had the required skills in the first place. Then you have been trained to reach the right level of knowledge needed to accomplish your daily tasks. There is then no reasons for you to believe a colleague is more able than you to do anything your management is asking for. By doubting yourself and leaving another one showing up you’re missing out on an opportunity to shine and potentially on future career advancement. The confident person gets promoted.
Similarly, in your personal life, being aware of your skills and talents allows you to make better decisions and more importantly to be the one making the decisions. In your household regarding important purchase, how to raise the children, etc … When you are clear with your capacities you know them and others around you are aware of them too, you can never be left out of an important decision. Your opinion is the important one.
You know your strength
When you’re confident you acknowledge your strength. You know what you have achieved, overcome, built. It is clear in your mind. This is all stored in your brain which makes you more stable when faced with challenges. You are not afraid of change as you believe in your own capacity to adapt to anything. All because you remember life changes, that’s what it does. If you overcame it in the past, there is no reasons why you wouldn’t be able to do it again. You know not to be afraid of the unknown, of what is on the other side. Nothing happens in the comfort zone. If you want your life to improve, you have to be ready to change. You need to remind yourself how strong you are and how you already done things you thought were too hard or too challenging in the past already.
For example, in a professional situation, if you are very unhappy with your job. The hours are terrible, no work-life balance, the manager has no respect for his team, there is no prospect of advancement, you have a dull repetitive job, this is really not how you pictured your career would look like. Whichever the reason, the point is you despise the job and this situation is making you miserable. You keep complaining about it all the time. It has become your main topic of conversation. But still you are there. You are staying in the job. Because you have a regular income. You don’t know what else you can do. It’s too risky to leave. Your family depends on your income. You can’t put your financial situation at risk. Furthermore, it is stable and comfortable somehow you got used to that routine.
Well this is not good enough. By not believing you’re strong enough to change career you have condemned yourself to a life of mediocre routine and despair. When you believe in your strength, you know you can do better. You know you can take a calculated risk. You go for another job.
Similarly, in your personal life, when faced with a challenge like changing car or moving to a different place. When you’re confident you will show up to the occasion. You can find a solution for every problem. Your motivation and strength are there to hold you together. A person with low self-confidence, on the contrary, come to you with a problem to every solution. I’m sure you know someone like that. This comes from fear. Being brave in face of changes requires you to know your strength and how to use them.
You believe in yourself
You heard that one a lot throughout your life. Believe in yourself. You have to believe in yourself. How does that translate for you? How do you believe in yourself?
Well try to think about someone you believe in. I mean a physical person of course. Someone that for you is highly capable of achieving anything. This person for you can do anything. You just know they will succeed. This person is you.
Believing in yourself is natural and logical once you already identified your skills and talents and know your strength. There can be no doubts about it. You can do anything you’ve set your heart and mind to. It sounds simple and complex at the same time. In other words, it translates as follow; you have a goal set for yourself. You don’t waste time thinking about how you’ll never do it. You get to work to achieve it because you know you can do it as long as you put the necessary efforts for it. That is to say, you have no space left for doubts and worry. This space is taken by strength and motivation.
To sum up, being confident has nothing to do with being bragging or boasting. Confidence is a skill that allows people to strive in life and keep moving forward. They don’t have time for comparison, positive or negative. They are happy in their life. They tend to be the most supportive people you can find in your life. They don’t see life as a race or a competition, but a community of people. Someone who is content and enjoys life has no benefits to get from putting others down. You will never be criticised by someone who is better than you, only someone who feels threatened by your achievements.