Do you know what is the biggest act of rebellion one can make these days? Any ideas? Think about it.
It’s to love yourself just as you are!
With such a great attitude in society and pop culture recently towards body positivity, I don’t think people know that toxic positivity also exists too. If you love yourself great, but do not expect everyone else to feel that way about themselves because 9 times out of 10 they don’t. And that’s okay. There are so many other parts of you that you can love such as how well you treat others and how kind you are. I thought there wasn’t a term for this until I heard it recently, and this attitude is called body neutrality.
As discussed in previous articles, we live in a world that has programmed us from birth to loath ourselves and desire to change everything about our appearance and more. In such a world, loving yourself, just as you are, is a tremendous act of rebellion.
Confidence and self-love are spectrums that many of us first fall in and identify with at a young age. As children, our confidence is at an all-time high due to our imaginations being on full throttle. However, this is not the case for everyone as certain factors may trigger one to struggle with confidence even at an early age. Such factors include environment e.g. moving locations, relationships e.g. divorce or separation of parents, sexuality struggles, and unfortunately trauma e.g. mental illness, abuse, or grief. In many cases, children are just shy and insular by nature, and just need extra help with breaking out of their shells.
And isn’t it what we asked from others. We all want to be loved the way we are. Yet, we’re incapable of doing it ourselves.
If you don’t love yourself, if you don’t deem yourself worthy of love, you will never appreciate the love someone else will give you. It will always sound fake to you.
You seek other’s love as a way to validate your existence and in the worst ways possible usually. The number of likes on social media.
People on the internet are mean. Not all of them, but all the idiots, frustrated and secretly self-loathing people are there spreading their negativity onto the world like a virus.
I read the most hateful things on the comment sections of Instagram and I can tell you, these people were only here to spread negativity and get a reaction from the readers.
It was turning them on big time to get people cyber-fighting with them. You could see it because what they were writing was not making sense. And some poor soul was replying with 500 words essays to someone’s 3-word provocation.
The point here is, to quote Ru Paul, “If you don’t love yourself, how the hell are you gonna love somebody else.”
The message you get from TV, ads and social media making are you feel like a girl needs to be tall but not too much, skinny but not too much, with big breasts and there’s no such thing as too much, with freakishly long and thick hair that never tangles.
And men need to be really tall, very muscular, super strong and tanned. Anything other than that is deemed unacceptable and must be changed.
So this is what is wrong with your mirror and what you need to rebel against.
The second you stop looking for someone else in the mirror and start looking at you is the second you will start to appreciate what you are: You are perfect!
If you continue readinhg my blog articles, it will convince you to accept your body.
So love yourself, just as you are, and not to quote an animal-tested brand of hair product:” you’re worth it!”
Practising self- love internally is just as if not more important than practicing self-care externally. How many times have you slapped on a face mask, or had a long bath but still felt the same? Obviously it must be noted that self-love does not come overnight, I mean “Rome wasn’t built in a day”. Nevertheless, sometimes it’s your inner self that needs the extra tender loving care, such as your mind, psyche and soul.
Putting it into Practice
To conclude this article we are going to practice what we preach.
- Take a piece of paper.
- Create two different columns.
- The first one should be a list of everything you like about yourself.
- The second to explain why you like these aspects of yourself.
- Try to remember that you’re not just blindly making the list of what’s great about you. For it to be successful you have to give proof you do like it by explaining it and truly believe in what you are writing in order to get its full effect.
The minimum should be at least 5, but if you want to challenge yourself, 10 would be great.
So just stop criticising and start loving yourself instead. As Lizzo says ‘Look up in the mirror like “Damn she the one!’
I hope this article helped you understand better how to love yourself just as you are. And if you feel you need the extra support for it, do not hesitate and Book your Complimentary Discovery call with me. I’ll be more than happy to continue this conversation with you.
Written in collaboration with intern Clodagh Flynn.